Last week was exciting for me—an influencer I follow bought an old farmhouse. No *I* did not buy a house, someone whose Instagram stories I watch did, but that’s probably as close as I’ll ever get to making a historical 3 bedroom my own. I can’t wait to watch the reno unfold.
I’m a fan of a certain kind of home media (or lean-back entertainment, as the CEOs say) that doesn’t pretend millennials have money. It started with the Cheap Old House Instagram and newsletter, which itself was spawned by the rise of post-mortgage crisis super deals in foreclosed suburbs or depressed cities like Detroit.
The Millennials I know who were able to capitalize on the plenty of post-bubble bargain bungalows did so with the help of their parents. But it did for a moment look like homeownership could once again be for everybody. Obviously, home prices recovered long before most of us were able to save up for even a cut-rate down payment. But the fantasy of finding a deal on a diamond in the rough and turning it into the dream home we used to believe in is still alive and kicking.
I prefer the pay-walled Cheap Old Houses Abroad, because I know I could never love a house enough to move to Kansas for it, but small town France seems romantic enough to overcome my preference for big city life and running water. But judging by past experience, the price for rundown villas will skyrocket before I’m ready to buy property.
In the meantime I also indulge in the reverse Cinderella fantasy of shows like Escape to the Chateau, where an eager English couple moves into a French castle and then have to do years of hard physical labor to make it livable. Watching someone try to turn a moat full of sewage into a fun party feature will delight and depress you. Homeownership starts to look half crazy, a way of making your life harder than it needs to be, but with custom wallpaper and a solarium.
And when all else fails, there’s always House Hunters International, the infinitely preferable spin off of regular House Hunters, which I haven’t seen in years but assume is still a roulette wheel for low quality McMansions. Most of the international House Hunters are renters, which makes it more relatable, but even the buyers are confronted with the tiny bedrooms, nonexistent closets, hand-held shower heads and bizarre floor plans of homes outside America. HHI is half homeownership/expat fantasy and half compromise fairytale. These couples, millionaire pottery instructors and professional clowns alike, at least pretend to enthusiastically agree on a house or apartment neither of them seem to like that much. Happiness with the meager options your limited budget and desire to live in the city center/by the beach/near work all at once can afford you is the real fantasy.
And that fantasy is built on a lie. When I found out that couples on HH must have already secured their new home before appearing on the show, it explained so much. No wonder they’re always letting a better option go for the less exciting compromise property, and no wonder they always find a place to live in the end. Even the reality of home shopping is a fantasy, but as they tour better properties they no longer have the option to choose, HHI participants still find a way to seem excited about their new home.
I skip the Australian episodes of HHI because most of their houses are even newer and less inspiring than oversized and under-charmed American homes (and because Australian slang drives me crazy, but mostly the uninspiring houses thing.) We’re never happy with what we can have, and we probably never will be. We’ll always want a pool or a third bathroom. But at least while watching House Hunters International we can believe that compromise is possible, that we can be happy with what we can have.
Recommendations
This Curbed article on rising rents in NYC and a possible conspiracy to convince us all that housing prices are skyrocketing because residents have come flooding back to the city post-Covid. Brown can’t tell us for sure what’s happening, but there’s no evidence of a sudden rise in population, and it appears NYC is still losing more residents than it gains. The answer might have something to do with mothballed apartments and a sketchy pricing algorithm, but what’s the end game?
The Thierry Mugler exhibit at the Brooklyn Museum. The Brooklyn Museum has better fashion exhibits than the Met. There, I said it. Day-of tickets are hard to get, so plan ahead.
Poker Face on Peacock. Another Rian Johnson murder mystery extravaganza that’s success relies heavily on Natasha Lyonne’s charm. Fortunately, she’s very charming. It’s a fun watch with Russian Doll vibes.
Grub Street’s definition of a “shoppy shop,” which kind of spoils an ongoing joke I used to play on my mom where I would pronounce “shoppe” shoppy and she would earnestly correct me every time. I’m the only person who thought it was funny. Anyway, “shoppy shops” are basically showrooms for VC-backed consumer packaged goods.
My Etsy rabbit hole of the week: Vintage Brutalist jewelry.