Screenshots from the Edge
In lieu of an actual essay, here are 5 screenshots I took in the last week that I believe epitomize our modern hell.
I’ve written about survey culture before, but this is really egregious. Enjoy Outlook? I didn’t know that was something Microsoft even considered, let alone actually strove for with the kind of focused intention it takes to have multiple meetings about it, resulting in the frankly stunning idea to pose a survey question to users, and then actually follow through to the point of pushing code live on the mobile app with the pleading hope that someone checking their work email on their phone during lunch will accidentally hit “yes” with the side of their thumb while trying to X out of the box.
And imagine, if you can, the pink-skinned executive who made the team change “No” to “Not so much” because “No” sounded too mean.
The government is absolutely nailing it. No notes.
John Mulaney voice: “A ‘Payment Streak’? The payments are automated!”
Gamification has gone too far. What do we think was the thought process here? Bestow arbitrary gold status on all users, and then create a false sense of scarcity by implying such gold status and its associated “exciting perks” can be lost if a user doesn’t…pay in installments more often? Help! I’ve been downgraded to Silver status on Sezzle—a service I used once to pay in 4, apparently, and then promptly forgot existed. I know paying in 4 is stupid—it’s something I only do when ordering items in multiple sizes or colors knowing that I’ll have to return some of them and not wanting to shell out the full bill up front OR put it on credit.
Which reminds me of the the consumer-shaming videos I’ve seen circulating on TikTok and Reels, reminding shoppers that items they return are neither resold nor recycled, and create excess waste—which is both true and a hideous symptom of late-stage capitalism where companies produce excess goods and then throw them away to maintain their value, rather than donate them or put them to any other kind of use. But it’s hardly the fault of the average consumer, especially when you consider how many retailers offer online-only items, which usually include things like extended sizes, or the number of retailers locking common goods behind glass in stores. If it was easier to shop in person, people would do it. And if we can shop in person, we’re less likely to return what we buy. And anyway, it’s the retailers who produce too many goods, keep them out of customers hands, and then waste them who are at fault.
The game maker behind Connections belongs in jail for what they get up to in the purple category. If these words were different words, they’d have something in common? Yeah, well if my grandmother had wheels she’d be a bike.
Indeed.